Letting Go/Holding On

This past week has been so unpredictable. Never did I know this would happen, yet it crossed my mind a couple of times. Is it my fault? Or did people expect this in the first place? Are they not surprised? How horrible. I mean, I feel bad! I didn't mean for this to happen. Actually, I hoped something like this wouldn't happen at all.

My life -and especially this situation- seems so repetitive. Ugh. I apologize if I'm "too complicated" for you, but maybe you should've taken a risk. I took risks that I was willing to take, and there were positive, as well as negative, outcomes. I didn't get what I originally wanted, but maybe something better. It's not my fault that I got tired of waiting, right?

"Stop being so shy and talk to him." Okay, I guess I applied that advice to the wrong person. I like this new found honesty, but look where I ended up! Don't get me wrong, I like where I am right now. It's just seems like my happiness is unintentionally hurting the people who I care about.

Everything caught me off guard and put me in a position where it feels like I have to choose. I've said too much to one person, and too little to another. Why? I don't know, maybe I was too impatient. That doesn't make sense, oh well. I have gained a friendship and in the process of doing so, I lost another. Let's hope not.


I'm gonna stop before I contradict myself even more.